Evil Dead II
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been wanting to watch Evil Dead 2. I meant to watch it last week. I meant to watch it the week before that. I even meant to watch it the week before that one, but hey, procrastination is my middle name. Finally I got a chance to watch this oldie for my first time and I can honestly say it may have been the best decision I made this week. A hilarious gorefest, I just could not get enough. Ash returns to the cabin to relive what he basically experienced in the first movie. My major complaint about this movie is that it reused many of the scenes and concepts from the first film. I fully believe that Sam Raimi is a genius and that the Evil Dead is easily one of the most iconic films in horror, but I was expecting a bit more originality in the sequel. Bottom line of horror movie sequels is that they are never better or even equally is good as the first one. Seeing as I’ve heard nothing but great things about Evil Dead 2, there is also a possibility that I set the bar too high for this one. Anyways, to continue with my review, I absolutely loved Ash and the insane man he turned into upon returning to the cabin. Also, the ‘dead’ stepped up their act and were as mischievous as ever, my favorite being Ash’s severed hand running around the cabin with its own agenda. Much of the movie was kind of a trip for me, and the corniness factor definitely helped contribute to the non-stop laughs from this film. Even though the original Evil Dead is one of my favorite horror films, I had to give its sequel only 4 out of 5 stars. I felt like the sequel was the same story as the first film. On top of that, the ending of the film was a little too gnarly and trippy for me. I’m not going to lie, I thought the ending was so random that actually it was quite fantastic, but I still envisioned a different ending that would tie up or at least make sense of what I had sat through. I liked the creativity and the way that the ending left you hanging, but it was just a little too far out there for my liking. The whole movie was a little too far out there for me, but I was able to appreciate the over-the-top horror movie corniness and humor they incorporated into the film. I would love to go on recommending this to everyone, but I’m quite aware this is not everybody’s cup of tea. Some people just don’t get horror comedy. For those of us that have seen enough horror films to where we actually can find comedy in it, this is THE perfect film for you. Some horror fans like their gore to be serious and disturbing. Evil Dead 2 takes gore and makes it bearable because of the hilarity that ensues. Who ever though a severed hand could have such a personality and sense of humor? I would have to say this is one of the best horror comedies I’ve ever seen and this is a definite must-see for anyone who is a fan of this sub-genre.
Nekromantik
First off, I would love to say how smitten I was by Nekromantik and that I have truly never watched a movie solely based around necrophilia. If the first line of this movie review scared you off, it might be best to just stop while you’re ahead and not bother with reading. However, if you are intrigued by my introduction to this 25 year old gem, then feel free to proceed. Betty and Robert are about as far from normal as they come and have some serious issues with finding dead bodies to be arousing. Are you still interested in continuing with my review of the movie? Yeah……. thats what I thought….. Anyways, long story short, this movie is just so beautifully nasty that I finished the flick with a big smile on my face. Grotesque idea after grotesque idea being broadcasted for the world to see, and one crazy director, Jorg Buttgereit, holding nothing back from the audience. I’ve seen my fair share of on-screen dead bodies, blood, and guts. However, what I haven’t gotten to experience is corny background music to the point where it makes the movie almost humorous. The music in the background when Betty and Robert are having sex with the corpse is so cheery and quasi-romantic, that I couldn’t help but laugh and wonder if this was some type of horror comedy. The film itself is so bizarre and perverted that you really have to question if the director is just trying to bust your balls for a good couple of laughs. Although I would have to say that this movie wasn’t necessarily brilliantly constructed with plot twists, it was out of this world gnarly and I loved all the nastiness that was displayed right before my very eyes. This blog is called ‘Gorror’ for a reason folks, I love gore and I love horror. This film was a fantastic combination of gore and pure unadulterated sexual perversion. The whole film blew my mind with the utter realness of each of the scenes. Betty and Robert held nothing back during their scenes involving blood, guts, and corpses, and I was really able to appreciate the fact that Buttgereit simply gave no fucks when directing this film. For sure one of the greatest nasties in the horror movie world. This film was definitely 5 out of 5 stars for me. Seeing as this film was directed in 1987, they didn’t have the vomit-worthy effects that they have today and I felt like this film was totally watchable. I would have to recommend this film to anyone that is a gore enthusiast because this film hits the spot, and some of the nastiness is even humorous. For me, this was a fun ride and has easily become of my favorite gore flicks. Viva Nekromantik!
Scariest Kids in Horror Movies
Jennifer from ‘Rec’
‘Rec’ definitely has to be one of my favorite handheld camera horrors. Jennifer is an innocent little girl for the majority of the movie except for the fact that she seems to have a little flu from the dog. Fast forward an hour and the flu has turned into a full on flesh-eating epidemic. The part that’s scary about her is that you can only see her in the dark, or at least with very minimal lighting. She runs, hops, bites, and screams. She is out of control and takes a full grown man out all by herself. She is always hiding, which adds to the element of surprise in the film and of course she jumps out or just stands there in the creepiest fashion ever.
The twins from ‘The Shining’
What can I say about these twins that hasn’t been said already? They are iconic to horror movies and you won’t find a person that thought their appearance in the film was totally not creepy.
Samara from ‘The Ring’
Do I really even need to explain? I don’t care who you are, I thought this movie was so creepy that I almost didn’t sleep for a week because of the nightmares it caused me. I understand that special effects had a lot to do with Samara being so scary, but when you see a gaunt child standing there in a night gown with hair all over her face, it freaks you out. The element of surprise is that you don’t know what’s under all the hair, and it gets even scarier once you find out. The way she walks, crawls, and just stands there scared the shit out of me. I was even unable to be in a room with a tv after seeing this flick.
Michael Myers from ‘Halloween’
This was the first cult slasher film I had ever seen in my life, and ever since then I will always remember how truly horrified I was for years after watching this. I was young the first time I saw this movie, around Michael’s age I suppose, and was really uncomfortable with nudity and anything sexual. What made me even more uncomfortable Michael watching his own naked sister, walking in on her, and then BAM stabbing her right in the tit. I wasn’t used to seeing nudity or death on camera, so when these 2 elements were combined on screen with a 10 year old, I was seriously scarred and forever freaked out by small children in horror movies.
Rhoda from ‘Bad Seed’
‘Bad Seed’ is the first ‘horror’ movie I was ever allowed to watch. I remember I was probably around 7 and my mom had told me that this movie freaked her out as a child. For a first introduction into horror, this movie definitely did the job. I was really freaked out by the concept of a little girl being able to fool and overpower all these adults. I wasn’t desensitized by the concept of killing at this point in my life, so I couldn’t believe that Rhoda was capable of killing. I think I remember her death scene being the scene that scared me the most because of the way she died. I’m still creeped out by it.
Martin from ‘Bereavement’
Even though the plot of this story isn’t necessarily the best one ever made, its pretty gory and messed up. Martin is kidnapped by a serial killer at the age of 5 and then is taught to be a serial killer himself. Its a lot of gore for a small child to handle, so you can only imagine how insane he must be after he has been living 5 years with this serial killer. He turns into a full on heartless killer by the age of 10 and I was definitely disturbed by this kid.
Emily from ‘Hide and Seek’
This was the first movie that I ever saw Dakota Fanning in and she really scared me. The whole entire time in the movie you are wondering if she is the killer or not. She seems so innocent, yet her attitude suggests that there is a demon hiding inside her. She gives a really creepy and amazing performance.
All the children in ‘Children of the Corn’
All the kids in this movie FREAKED me out as a child. It was scary for me to think about what if there were no adults and this world was ruled by evil children. The thought that these children can penetrate your mind with their special powers and control adults really frightened me. Nothing worse than a world full of evil children………
Damien from ‘The Omen’
Even though the original film is what actually scared me, I thought the remake was beautiful and this Damien was a lot scarier than the original one. He displays absolutely no emotion or affection towards anyone and is a little troublemaker that you can never predict. He is sneaky and winds up taking out his whole family. I loved that he was possessed by the devil at an age so young, nobody would ever suspect him for anything. His adorable smile hides how evil he really is.
Thirst
There is truly nothing in this world to me like a vampire film, in the sense that once I hear the movie I am about to watch contains vampires, I take off running and don’t look back. Basically, vampires are NOT my thing and I will usually do anything necessary to make sure I am not forced to sit through one. I would say ‘Twilight’ has a lot to do with ruination of the once feared vampires, but for the most part, I haven’t seen any truly good vampire movies out there that have kept me interested in the vampire movie subgenre. I decided to put the next 2 hours of my life in the hands of fate and tune into Chan-wook Park’s ‘Thirst’. Fate was beyond generous to me and this ended up being one of the greatest movies I had seen in some time. I have a history with Chan-wook Park and have always had great love for everything he has directed, so I figured if he was going to do something with vampires, it couldn’t be any worse than the vampire garbage that is already out there. ‘Thirst’ is the story of a priest who is infected with a virus that subsequently turns him into a blood craving maniac. Priest Sang-hyeon is trying to hold on to the morals and beliefs that have led him into priesthood and rather than killing others for blood, he spends time at his local hospital stealing as much blood as he can. Quite the hospitable vampire, right? Soon after being infected, he meets Tae-ju and instantly falls in love with her. The beginning of the movie is slow, really really slow to the point where I almost wanted to turn it off. This event though, is the turning point and, in my book, where the movie really begins.
Tae-ju is the complete opposite of Sang-hyeon, in that she really is evil. She does have her redeeming qualities, which is what makes him fall in love, but she is just a basketcase of naughty and watching the relationship between the two is like watching the chemical reaction between oil and water (my inner chemistry geek is finally making an appearance). The irony of the film is what gets me the whole time; a priest is infected with the vampire virus and does everything he can to get blood without killing and ends up falling in love with a woman that is seriously the embodiment of Satan all why trying to repress his sexual urges for her. He loves her so much, that he infects her with the virus so they can live together forever. This is where the movie began to get mushy gushy (in a fucked up gory covered in blood type way) and I realized that it was more of a romantic horror, which is honestly the only type of romance I will watch. Crazy Tae-ju loves her newfound powers and cannot get enough of the killing. More than drinking blood she cares about finding new and exciting ways to kill people. Seeing as Sang-hyeon has been involved in the church his whole life, this causes a huge conflict for him and their relationship.
To be honest, this is not one that goes down in history for fantastic gore. If anything this is little to none, which is why I was surprised I loved this movie so much. The story is such a good one, I would recommend this to anyone. I don’t want to give away the ending, but I will say it is amazingly beautiful and is pretty much the perfect ending for the story. The characters are all great and sometimes the plot is just down right crazy. All the aspects of the movie are very captivating and I really don’t have any complaints on how this movie could have been better. Obviously the more gore, the better, which I guess technically is a complaint, but I would still give this movie 5 out of 5 stars. It is a beautifully dark and bloody romance, and Chan-wook Park truly steals hearts as a director. No excuses, you need to watch this movie!
Grave Encounters 2
As a severe horror addict, I have learned through years of horror addiction that sequels are almost never a good idea. I even went as far as to make a vlog explaining how and why horror movie sequels are seriously one of the worst things ever. Yet, when I see a sequel for a horror movie I love suddenly becoming available on Netflix, the last thing I’m able to do is resist. All the signs telling me that “Grave Encounters 2” was going to suck were right in my face, but my farfetched faith in this sequel is what led me to ignore those signs. I’m telling you now, this is an extremely bad choice. Not only is “Grave Encounters 2” one of the worst movies I have seen, it definitely wins an award for one of the worst sequels in horror. I loved the first one, but I had to give the second movie a 0 out of 5 stars because, yes, it was seriously THAT bad.
The corniness factor of the movie at least made it a bit enjoyable at parts. And when I say “at parts” I mean only about 2 minutes of the movie. The rest is overplayed garbage that they already did in the first movie. It would have been one thing if they would have made a real sequel, AKA a movie with a new plot that starts where the first movie left off. Instead, the sequel copied pretty much scene for scene, everything from the first movie. Remember when the cast of Grave Encounters decided to take their camera crew into an abandoned mental hospital to find out if it was haunted, and then it turned out it actually was? For merely two hours of your life you can “enjoy” the same exact scenes with a different set of idiots freaking out at each other because they didn’t expect the everything in the first movie to happen in the second movie as well. To me, this just shows laziness and a complete lack of creativity from the directors. I can’t even stress how much the sequel is just a remake of the first movie with different yet still equally annoying characters and the same spooky jump factors they used in the first film. If it was seriously that hard to come up with a new concept for a sequel, why bother even making one?
In a way, this movie reminded me of the second Human Centipede, in that some weird infatuated nerd decided it was his destiny to live out the first “Grave Encounters” and find out if everything he saw in the first movie was true. Part of me thinks that the director’s intention was to humor the audience and the other part of me thinks that the director seriously had nothing better to do with his time than remake the original and then label it as a sequel. There are no redeeming qualities in this movie whatsoever, no memorable gore scenes, no scary moments that made me jump, no characters that possessed qualities that could make the audience care. Overall this movie is a waste of time, energy, and money. Not only would I never pay to see this movie, I don’t understand what possessed the director to even put a penny into it’s budget. However, if you really don’t believe me and you still want to tune into the movie, ensure that your eyes are closed for the duration of the film, that will most likely enhance your movie watching experience.
Craziest Bitch in Horror: Charlotte Gainsbourg in ‘Antichrist’
Although I would not consider ‘Antichrist’ to be a horror film, it is an extremely disturbing film that will leave you with a not so fresh taste in your mouth. Gainsbourg’s character remains unnamed and is simply referred to as ‘she’ or ‘the woman’. After losing her son tragically, her and her husband decide to retreat into the woods at their cabin known as ‘Eden’. Gainsbourg begins showing signs of mental instability, and honestly it all goes downhill from there. Her therapist husband tries to treat her himself, but she is so far gone, he can’t even FIND the tip of that iceberg that is her craziness. Whatever women’s studies courses she is taking in school have subconsciously brainwashed her into believing women are evil and it is her responsibility to carry out the evil duties. Not only that, but she believes she is so evil she mutilates her own genitalia (cringe-worthy scene for sure). William Dafoe, who plays her husband in the movie, discovers little by little that she didn’t lose her mind from the death of their son, but she had been losing her mind prior. I can’t even express how much I love this movie and how much there will never ever be a character as horrific as Gainsbourg. As the movie progresses, we learn that she has systematically been “torturing” her toddler and that his death was way more preventable than the viewer originally thought. Since her toddler first began wearing shoes, Gainsbourg started putting his shoes on the wrong feet in order to stint the bone growth and cause him severe dysfunction in his walking abilities. Just being able to digest this fact alone, is nauseating. And to think it only gets worse….. We soon discover that Gainsbourg was fully aware that her toddler was able to break free of the child-proof gate she installed in his room. The icing on top of the cake of insanity, is when we find out that during the sexual intercourse that takes place between her and her husband at the beginning of the movie, she was actually watching her young toddler climb up onto the window sill and plunge 4 stories to his death. I’ll just give you a moment to take that all in. Its sexual perversion and family dysfunction all in one. And that is only half of her small family she tortures. The other half, her husband, she hunts down as if he is tonight’s dinner. She is just such an embodiment of pure evil, destroying everything and everyone (including herself) in her path, that she transforms into literally a monster by the end of the film. Such a seemingly normal family is destroyed by its wife and mother. This is scariest to me because she appears so normal in the beginning, and its hard to fathom that she has actually had this evil inside of her the whole time. Thats it for the crazy bitch countdown, I hope you all enjoyed!
