Archive for the ‘Horror Classics’ Category

Dead Alive AKA Braindead

Posted: June 26, 2013 in Horror Classics


There is so much about this film that absolutely repulsed me, that all I can say is that I loved it!  The gory goodness was old-fashioned, which is hard for me to get used to at times because I have mostly become accustomed to special effects, but the footprint it left in my memory is something that can never be erased.  After Lionel’s mother gets bitten by an evil monkey (hilarious, I know) she literally begins falling apart at the seams.  I’m talking blood and puss squirting out of her, ears falling into soup that she happens to be eating, and suddenly, the urge to eat living creatures (Fernando the dog). As the movie progresses, it turns into a comedic zombie film.  If it wasn’t so damn funny, I’m not sure how bearable it would be with the practically insurmountable amount of gore.  Seriously, I will never look at lawn mowers the same way.  Lionel hilariously keeps his “dead” mother “alive” by sedating her once she gets into full zombie mode.  However, she does manage to attack the nurse and Lionel suddenly becomes the caretaker of the living dead.  Each of the characters, more-so dead when they are alive, have huge personalities that made me laugh my ass off.  Never did I think I could find gore and death so gut-busting, but this movie was so well made that you might find you don’t want to look away.  I can’t think of many movies that top the amount of blood or decapitation I witnessed in the 90 minute running-time of “Dead Alive”.  The elements of horror, romanticism, satire, and gore meshed perfectly together to make what I think of as one of the most perfect horror-comedies out there.  Any movie that features severed body parts with a sense of humor and a mind of their own is OK in my book.  Also, evil and mischievous babies that are creepy in a comedic way are also a plus. There is no way I could NOT give this movie 5 out of 5 stars, it’s totally solid! I must warn though, this movie is not for everyone.  I am a self-admitted nerd with a very profane sense of humor.  This movie hit the spot perfectly.  For someone who is as big into horror movies and bloody nastiness as I am, this movie was a hilarious break from the serious and sinister horror films that are usually popular.  If you think you have seen some of the grossest scenes in horror without seeing this movie, you are sadly mistaken.  Get ready for literally a bath of blood, this one’s a goodie. To those who have already seen the movie and now have the sudden urge to see it again via my movie review, I would just like you to know that you can thank me later, and most importantly, “I kick ass for the Lord!”


evil dead 2

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been wanting to watch Evil Dead 2.  I meant to watch it last week.  I meant to watch it the week before that.  I even meant to watch it the week before that one, but hey, procrastination is my middle name.  Finally I got a chance to watch this oldie for my first time and I can honestly say it may have been the best decision I made this week.  A hilarious gorefest, I just could not get enough.  Ash returns to the cabin to relive what he basically experienced in the first movie.  My major complaint about this movie is that it reused many of the scenes and concepts from the first film.  I fully believe that Sam Raimi is a genius and that the Evil Dead is easily one of the most iconic films in horror, but I was expecting a bit more originality in the sequel.  Bottom line of horror movie sequels is that they are never better or even equally is good as the first one.  Seeing as I’ve heard nothing but great things about Evil Dead 2, there is also a possibility that I set the bar too high for this one.  Anyways, to continue with my review, I absolutely loved Ash and the insane man he turned into upon returning to the cabin.  Also, the ‘dead’ stepped up their act and were as mischievous as ever, my favorite being Ash’s severed hand running around the cabin with its own agenda.  Much of the movie was kind of a trip for me, and the corniness factor definitely helped contribute to the non-stop laughs from this film.  Even though the original Evil Dead is one of my favorite horror films, I had to give its sequel only 4 out of 5 stars.  I felt like the sequel was the same story as the first film.  On top of that, the ending of the film was a little too gnarly and trippy for me.  I’m not going to lie, I thought the ending was so random that actually it was quite fantastic, but I still envisioned a different ending that would tie up or at least make sense of what I had sat through.  I liked the creativity and the way that the ending left you hanging, but it was just a little too far out there for my liking.  The whole movie was a little too far out there for me, but I was able to appreciate the over-the-top horror movie corniness and humor they incorporated into the film.  I would love to go on recommending this to everyone, but I’m quite aware this is not everybody’s cup of tea.  Some people just don’t get horror comedy.  For those of us that have seen enough horror films to where we actually can find comedy in it, this is THE perfect film for you.  Some horror fans like their gore to be serious and disturbing.  Evil Dead 2 takes gore and makes it bearable because of the hilarity that ensues.  Who ever though a severed hand could have such a personality and sense of humor? I would have to say this is one of the best horror comedies I’ve ever seen and this is a definite must-see for anyone who is a fan of this sub-genre.


I did a little background research and have discovered that The Exorcist was the first movie of its kind, and for that it gets 4 out of 5 stars in my book. As a precursor for all the shitty exorcism movies that come out on a consistent basis, The Exorcist is basically the OG film and sets the bar for all other religious/ supernatural films.  Besides for Rosemary’s Baby, which also dabbles in Satanic children and religion, The Exorcist is completely original and is easily one of my favorite films because of the subject matter.  Poor little Regan, an innocent 12-year old girl, is possessed by a demonic force that not only makes her sexually explicit, but it always gives her almost acrobatic skills in that she is able to completely manipulate her joints.  I may have just made this sound like she turned into some type of pornstar nympho, but believe me, it is much worse than that.  Between fucking herself with a crucifix and vomiting on multiple priests, I would say this demonic force has made her as far from a pornstar nympho as possible.  Regan starts out with little outbursts here and there and eventually it turns physical.  Her appearance is warped and disturbing and she goes from adorable 12 year old to foul-mouthed Chuckie doll look-a-like.  Even though I totally love this movie for its originality, I can honestly say I didn’t feel like there were any plot twists or turns that made the movie truly interesting.

Basically the movie is just about a couple priest infiltrating the situation and performing an exorcism on this young girl.  The setting never really changes and the characters (besides for Regan and her mother) were not complex enough to make an impact on me or to really make them memorable in my head.  Obviously this sexually perverted demon that possesses Regan to utter obscenities, masturbate in front of priests, and even come on to them in the most explicit ways, gave major bonus points in my book. Remember, Regan is 12, just let that sink in. She even goes as far as to force her mother’s face down in her crotch while yelling at her to fuck her.  This disturbing-ness in the movie is definitely what put it high up there as a priority for any must-see movie lists.  The acting is perfectly done as well between Regan and her mother, Chris.  Regan nails possessed child and manages to put many disturbing and memorable images in your head, including a scene where she practically crab-walks down the staircase with blood spewing out of her mouth.  Chris shows the perfect amount of despair in trying to find a cure for her daughter and also the right amount of shock and horror as her daughter’s personality and appearance change into quite the disturbing view to look at.  I would have to recommend this film to everyone seeing as it is literally the original exorcism film and basically started the trend in religious horror movies which are still popular as ever today.  Considering all the advances in technology and changes within the horror genre, The Exorcist is very basic compared to what is out there now-a-days.  However, I truly believe you cannot consider yourself a real horror fan until you have not only seen this movie, but have found a special place for it in your heart.  Oh how 70’s horror flicks always fills me with nostalgia. Now go rewatch this film for the 100000th time, as I am assuming you have all seen it. If not, you should probably stop living under a rock and just peep this already.


For all of those that thought they knew the Addams family, you really have no idea.  Addam’s Family Values is about a family of social outcasts that decide to send their two sadistic children away to sleep away camp over the summer.  Now that the children aren’t figuring out ways to try and kill their newborn brother, they are away at sleep away camp torturing the other children.  Meanwhile at home, their uncle has unknowingly married a serial killer who marries rich men, kills them, and then takes off with their money.  Sounds like a pretty twisted movie right? Take out all the blood, gore, and violence, and instead add adorable laughs and completely lovable characters and you got yourself one of the best comical Gothic horror-type family movies ever.  I’m still reeling from watching a movie that DIDN’T contain any type of brutal rape scene, but instead a heartwarming story about a family that loves each other.  This movie is rated pg-13, but somehow I don’t really see it.  I guess the fact that the movie shows 2 siblings repeatedly attempting to kill their newborn brother isn’t exactly something they would show in a G-rated film, but its safe to say that when I have kids, this is the first “horror movie” they are seeing.

The movie is a spin-off of the 1960’s television series, The Addam’s Family.  I absolutely adore the Addam’s family and everything they have done for horror culture more than I can explain.  The Addam’s family is the close-knit, loving family you never had, but they just happen to live in a gothic mansion on 001 Cemetery Lane and have a house filled with torture devices and unknown creatures.  Its the horror genre brought to a family-friendly level and makes it enjoyable to all audiences, regardless of whether they are horror fans or not.  Everyday I have the misfortune of meeting people that do not like horror films, and it simply leaves me at a loss for words.  The Addam’s family though has, in a way, revolutionized horror and has made it watchable for everyone.  The Addam’s family is clean family fun and comedy within the horror genre, I don’t think its possible to not have your heart warmed by this loving adorable family.  I gave this movie 5 out of 5 because — how can you not? This movie is suitable for all ages and all tastes.  It has an all-star cast, an original plot, and even a mustached baby that will just melt your heart.  This movie is a pick-me-up for somebody with my taste preference.  I would recommend watching this movie just about anywhere with just about anyone.  It will brighten your day, make you smile, and show you how diverse the horror genre can really be.

For a movie that came out in 1977, The Incredible Melting Man was quite great and I gave it 4 out of 5 stars.  I even felt nostalgic as I sat there watching a movie that had come out way before I was even born and was able to appreciate its’ originality in all its glory.  Three astronauts go on a mission to Saturn, but predictably, something goes terribly wrong.  Two of the astronauts are killed, and Steve is the only surviving one of the crew that had been exposed to some form of toxic radiation.  The real horror begins after he becomes conscious and begins unwrapping his fully bandaged face and body.  The concept of the whole “melting man” is original, fresh, and of course, gruesome.  I loved how the radiation exposure didn’t make him a zombie or an alien or anything that had been done before for that matter.  I never knew how disturbing a melting man could truly be until I saw it on film.  It reminded me of some of the gruesome-ness of Clive Barker’s Hellraiser.  Steve goes from a seemingly nice astronaut to a melting mound of flesh that just can’t get enough human blood.  I’m going to cut straight to the chase: the murder scenes were LEGIT for a 70’s movie.  Looking back on it, the primitivity of the murders was engrossing, there were no weapons used and instead the melting man used his mouth as a weapon, taking out chunks of flesh left and right.  With the right amount of blood (not too much and not too little), the film pulled off convincing murder scenes and I was glad to forgo some of the cheesiness that tends to bug me when taking it old school and viewing 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s movies.  The plot was easy to follow and the characters were believable and likable.  I even began feeling empathetic towards the end as the Steve, the melting man, realizes he is doomed and there is no way to save him from completely melting into a blob.  At this moment in time, whether it was from the lack of sleep I had gotten in the past 48 hours or I was really just feeling bad for the guy, I truly began to feel emotional and feel empathetic towards this melting blob that was once a human being.  Watching him as he places his head into his almost nonexistent hands was both thought and emotion provoking.  I felt like I began to connect with Steve.  Everything he had before the mission had melted away and disappeared, much like his physical appearance until he was left as no more than an evaporated residue in the dirt.

The main reason I like this movie so much was the originality.  Now that its 2012, pretty much everything has been done.  Even things you can’t think of have been done, which is a disturbing thought in itself.  I can honestly say though, I have only seen one cannibalistic, melting man and hopefully, cinema chooses to keep it that way.