Archive for the ‘Top 5 Lists’ Category

To my audience out there in Australia, or just to anyone that loves the Aussie accent or foreign cinema in MV5BMTk0NzMzODc2NF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwOTYzNTM1MzE@._V1_SY317_CR0,0,214,317_AL_general, I have compiled a small list of Aussie horrors you may have overlooked.  Make sure to add these to your list of must-see films. I’ve also provided short review and trailers so you can know anything your heart desires.  All you need to know though is that I’m a horror master and I would never steer you wrong in the horror movie recommendation area. Have you seen any of these films or not? Feel free to leave feedback in the comments, I always respond!

1.Snowtown Murders

This movie was more shocking, disturbing, and intense than actually scary.  Based on a true story, Jamie is taken under the wing of his new father-figure, who ends up being a deranged killer that brainwashes the entire family.  He leads them to do acts of unspeakable violence and its a shocking transformation that the whole family goes through.  There’s lots of bloody imagery and the story will leave you with a pit in your stomach.

2. Primal

5 backpacker go on a trip; pretty self-explanatory the type of movie you’re about to get into.  However this one takes a twist and combines the vampire/creature genre with the campy/nightmare vacation genre.  The acting is good, the effects are good, the story has more twists and turns than you would expect.  This one from down under shows Aussies why they just shouldn’t leave their own country.

3. Wolf Creek

This movie is a bit of the opposite of Primal, showing backpackers why they should travel in any other part of the world besides for the outback in Australia.  Again, this is an easy film to “genre-ize”, one of those teen/ college kidnap/survival films.  However, this one is so much more.  The gore and torture inflicted by our psychotic bogan killer is really brutal and he’s an absolute ruthless fucker.  The helpless backpackers cry out in agony and you can’t help but to watch through nearly closed eyes.  The sequel makes for a great one too, and what’s even scarier is that this was based off a true story.

4. Apocalyptic

Finally a found footage film that didn’t suck and wasn’t completely filmed on an ipad/iphone. This genre is still somewhat new and untouched (a little bit). This takes the religious/ exorcism/ possession genre and mixes it together with the newly found cult genre.  I like the cult genre, as mind control and cults are a real thing that exist in the world; there are some crazy cults out there that brainwash and can make its followers do crazy things (I’m sure we all remember how the Manson family turned out).  The cult genre truly is freaky, and to an extent, the effects of found footage always get to me as well.

5. The Loved Ones

Originally, the Harry Styles lookalike is what drew me to the film.  I must profess my love for this doppelganger and how heartbroken I was to see him tortured so ruthlessly.  Again, this film can fall quite easily into a genre which may be a problem for some horror viewers as its nothing mind-fucking and truly chilling.  However, i gotta give it credit, this movie is pretty damn good.  All the characters are likable, the plot is pretty original, so I guess not really your typical prom horror, and the gore and blood is pretty full on.  This my be my favorite of the bunch.

6. The Babadook

Easily considered a modern horror classic (by others not by me), I was actually disappointed by this film, but couldn’t help putting it on the list. This got quite a lot of attention at Sundance and pretty much every person but me has had something good to say about this film.  Maybe I wasn’t in the right mood to be watching a horror whenever I chose to watch this film, but I’m not really willing to give it another go and give it a higher rating.  Hopefully many of you have seen this since this was such a big hit out on the horror market and you can beg to differ with my opinion, but I just thought most of the movie was hype and build up. However, as unconvincing and cynical as this mini review was, I would still say check out this movie and see it for yourself.

Rob Zombie movies for beginners

Posted: August 9, 2015 in Top 5 Lists

Rob Zombie has to be among my absolute favorite horror directors.  I can honestly say I have loved almost everything he has made. Below is my take on Rob Zombie’s films.  Although I have to say all his films are incredible, I have ranked them from best to worst. Here it goes:

House of 1000 Corpses

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I think this was the first Rob Zombie film I saw and I was instantly hooked on his brand of horror; sadistic psychotic killers that end up to be some crazy family picking off teen’s one by one and making them suffer through unimaginable horror.  The characters are so lovable and just badass; you actually get to know, appreciate, and like the characters, which I feel most other horror movies fail at doing. Everything is just nuts and blew my mind. Highly recommend, don’t miss this one

Devil’s Rejects

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It was hard choosing between this one and House of 1000 Corpses for first and second place, just to give you an idea of how much I adore this film as well.

Halloween & Halloween 2

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I’m not really a fan of remakes, so I can say that I don’t 100% recommend these (like 80%) just because Halloween has been done and redone a thousand times over again.  Its hard for me to appreciate Rob’s approach in the films just because I’ve seen the original and sequels too many damn times! However, I can appreciate the blood and gore that he put into these. Nothing really that new, but the acting is so good and its just really violent. Check it out if you want to see an upgrade in quality and gore (but not better than the original).

Lords of Salem

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Eh, I didn’t really care for this one.  The message of the film was good, and it was excellently executed with lots of stunning and terrifying visuals and scenes, but just wasn’t scary enough.  There was zero gore in this film, which shocked me coming from Rob.  I feel like he’s none for his gory film style and this just didn’t cut it for me.  It was a nice change from his usual stuff, and Sheri absolutely kills it with her acting skills; I just love her. Wouldn’t recommend this one.

Werewolf Women of the SS

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This movie made me feel like I was on drugs.  It honestly felt like one hallucinogenic trip that just didn’t seem like it was going to end

Do you ever feel like you just can’t seem to have enough blood and gore in your films?  Do you often find that you are NOT spending the majority of your horror movie watching time cringing and looking away? Fear no more horror fiends and friends alike.  I have compiled a list of absolute NASTIES.  I myself, found I had to look away more times then I would like to admit with these movies.

Seed

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Where to begin with this movie? Just overall FUCKED. Such a disturbing, psychotic, extreme movie. Lots of blood and merciless brutality on the end of the serial killer.  This one definitely hits you from all angles; messes with your mind, pulls at your heartstrings, puts a pit in your stomach, is disgusting to watch, and even grosser to think about.  Lots of scenes really made my heart beat fast with just how shockingly gross they were.  I would recommend skipping the first 5-7 minutes of the film.  Its seriously just unpleasant nastiness and seems to take away from the film rather than add to it. Please be warned though, this movie does contain some (fake) animal gore.

Cannibal Holocaust

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You’ve got to give this film credit, it was WAY ahead of its time in the horror movie world.  The idea of your plane crashing into the remote part of a jungle with only a cannibalistic tribe as “companions” is terrifying. Fast forward, and there you are deep in the jungles of South America being hunted and captured in order to be fed to this savage tribe.  The movie looks so real, which is what is the most disturbing. The acting is good and the effects are extremely practical, making it pretty believable.   Again, this film also contains animal gore (apparently real), you’ve been warned!

Dead Alive (AKA Braindead)

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This film is a great laugh and not to be taken seriously.  However, that doesn’t take away from just how bloody disgusting it is! This film is as funny as it is gross.  The story line is great and the creative ways in which the characters are murdered and dismembered are just hilarious.  Great mix of humor, guts, and horror.

Human Centipede 2

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Just thinking about this film gives me a bad taste in my mouth.  What a pile of garbage.  At the same time though, if you want to challenge yourself and push your limits of what you think is grotesque, give this one a try.  Such a gross out film, that seemed to be its main purpose.  If you can watch this entire movie without looking away once, congratulations, you have officially “out-gored” me.

Headless

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Rather than go into detail with what this film is about, I figure I’d just have you do the research yourself.  It saves me from one AWKWARD movie review. I will say this though, this has to be one of the most extreme horrors I have ever seen, not for the weak of heart or stomach. Cannibalism is present, which is actually the least offensive thing I found about this movie. Once the pornographic scenes started, things got weird. To say the least. I found myself closing my eyes, plugging my ears, and wishing I was in a different place for about 70% of that film.  That’s a new record, folks. Lots of blood, among other things to see here.

1. Although I would not consider ‘Antichrist’ to be a horror film, it is an extremely disturbing film that will leave you with a not so fresh taste in your mouth.  Gainsbourg’s character remains unnamed and is simply referred to as ‘she’ or ‘the woman’.  After losing her son tragically, her and her husband decide to retreat into the woods at their cabin known as ‘Eden’.  Gainsbourg begins showing signs of mental instability, and honestly it all goes downhill from Charlotte-Gainsbourg-in-L-001there.  Her therapist husband tries to treat her himself, but she is so far gone, he can’t even FIND the tip of iceberg that is her craziness.  Whatever women’s studies courses she is taking in school have subconsciously brainwashed her into believing women are evil and it is her responsibility to carry out the evil duties.  Not only that, but she believes she is so evil she mutilates her own genitalia (cringe-worthy scene for sure).  William Dafoe, who plays her husband in the movie, discovers little by little that she didn’t lose her mind from the death of their son, but she had been losing her mind prior.  I can’t even express how much I love this movie and how much there will never ever be a character as horrific as Gainsbourg.  As the movie progresses, we learn that she has systematically been “torturing” her toddler and that his death was way more preventable than the viewer originally thought.  Since her toddler first began wearing shoes, Gainsbourg started putting his shoes on the wrong feet in order to stint the bone growth and cause him severe dysfunction in his walking abilities.  Just being able to digest this fact alone, is nauseating. And to think it only gets worse….. We soon discover that Gainsbourg was fully aware that her toddler was able to break free of the child-proof gate she installed in his room.  The icing on top of the cake of insanity, is when we find out that during the sexual intercourse that takes place between her and her husband at the beginning of the movie, she was actually watching her young toddler climb up onto the window sill and plunge 4 stories to his death.  I’ll just give you a moment to take that all in.  Its sexual perversion and family dysfunction all in one.  And that is only half of her small family she tortures.  The other half, her husband, she hunts down as if he is tonight’s dinner.  She is just such an embodiment of pure evil, destroying everything and everyone (including herself) in her path, that she transforms into literally a monster by the end of the film.  Such a seemingly normal family is destroyed by its wife and mother.  This is scariest to me because she appears so normal in the beginning, and its hard to fathom that she has actually had this evil inside of her the whole time.

2. Takashi Miike may be one of my favorite directors out there, with his truly fucked up sense of gore and filth, so it is no surprise one of audition_xxhis characters takes the number 2 spot on my crazy bitch list.  Who could forget angel-faced Asami? At probably only 90 pounds, she looks as harmless as they come.  Her innocence, her openness, and her shyness are what initially fool the viewer as well as her current flame, Shigeharu.  As Asami begins to reveal more about her past and the abuse she suffered, the viewer finally begins to realize that the angel-face is more like the face of Satan.  This becomes the turning point and Asami transforms from poor girl you feel bad for to crazy bitch you only wish you could get away from.  Judging by her methods of brutality and torture, I think its safe to say that she absolutely hates the male species with a passion.  Laughing and giggling, she just can’t get enough of the pain she inflicts on others and her enjoyment in the torture is enough to nauseate the viewer.  Its easy to fall into her “good girl” trap, but rest assured, its not so easy to get out.

3. The character simply known as the daughter in Greek film noir, ‘Singapore Sling’ has earned herself the number 3 spot on my crazy bitch countdown.  Although this movie is not horror, it displays enough horrific acts that I want to slap an NC-17 rating on this baby.  ‘Daughter’ is the spawn of two extremely disturbed individuals who take pleasure in sexual perversion on more levels than I care to elaborate in this short article.  This bitch is ‘no’ on so many levels, I don’t728_singapore-sling even know where to begin.  This chick is just straight crazy, and I think even without having fucked up insane parents, this chick would have been just as psycho.  Fulfilling sexual fantasies with her mother, eating the guts and intestines of victims she has recently murdered, and finding it possible to orgasm while both playing with a gun and vomiting? This bitch never even had a chance.   As an audience, you don’t even know who the daughter truly is, and the daughter can’t seem to get a grasp on who she is either because she is constantly living her life through various memories and characters she has created. She is completely isolated from all social norms and can hardly even function without one of her “role-playing” personalities coming out. As the film runs its course, it becomes apparent that no amount of medication or therapy could ever make this crazy bitch normal.

4. Psychological horrors always seem to introduce you to characters that are just completely off the wall in every single way.  Marie is no marieexception.  As much as I don’t want to give away the ending, I will try to keep this spoiler-free.  Marie is seemingly normal to the audience, the other characters, and even herself.  She goes to spend a weekend with one of her college friends, Alexia, at her family’s home on a quiet farm.  A stunning string of murders in Alexia’s house, her whole family and even her dog, shows her that her and Marie are NOT alone, and they have some unwanted company in the house. *SPOILER ALERT*: Marie is the killer. I bet you didn’t see that coming…… A seemingly normal college girl kills Alexia’s whole family with her split personality in order to get closer to Alexia and have her all to herself.  Its one thing when a bitch is just straight crazy, but then its a whole different (and more horrifying) story when a bitch doesn’t even know she has a second personality, especially one that has a knack for brutally killing.  As the story progresses and Marie’s alter-ego comes out to play, you see what a creepy love-struck individual she really is.  My favorite part is the ending of the movie, when Marie finally admits her love for Alexia.  In a haunting fashion, she declares that she will never let her go.  The last scene, where Marie is in a psychiatric hospital with Alexia watching through the one-way mirror, is definitely the most eerie scene in the movie.  I may have already spoiled this movie enough, but its not til you get to the end of the film, in that last scene, where you really realize what a nutcase Marie is.
lucie5. For the fifth crazy bitch in my “Craziest bitches in horror” countdown, I have chosen Lucie from French splatterific masterpiece, “Martyrs”.  As the survivor of severe psychological, emotional, and physical abuse as a child, Lucie obviously had no chance of any type of normal adulthood, especially considering she spent the rest of her childhood in an orphanage after escaping her abusers.  She is still haunted by images and memories of her abuse and that eventually drives her to complete madness.  The hallucinations she experiences push her to insanity and she realizes she must kill her abusers.  The moment she decided to get revenge on her abusers was the moment that this bitch completely LOST IT.  I mean, here she is with a gun, brutally shooting up an entire family, all while her hallucinations are as vivid as ever.  Finally, she just reaches her breaking point and slits her own throat in front of her best friend.  Judging by the rest of the movie, it is heart wrenching to even think about what Lucie must have had to endure as a child and it becomes obvious as to how she lost her mind.

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Jennifer from ‘Rec’

‘Rec’ definitely has to be one of my favorite handheld camera horrors.  Jennifer is an innocent little girl for the majority of the movie except for the fact that she seems to have a little flu from the dog.  Fast forward an hour and the flu has turned into a full on flesh-eating epidemic.  The part that’s scary about her is that you can only see her in the dark, or at least with very minimal lighting.  She runs, hops, bites, and screams.  She is out of control and takes a full grown man out all by herself.  She is always hiding, which adds to the element of surprise in the film and of course she jumps out or just stands there in the creepiest fashion ever.

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The twins from ‘The Shining’

What can I say about these twins that hasn’t been said already? They are iconic to horror movies and you won’t find a person that thought their appearance in the film was totally not creepy.

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Samara from ‘The Ring’

Do I really even need to explain? I don’t care who you are, I thought this movie was so creepy that I almost didn’t sleep for a week because of the nightmares it caused me.  I understand that special effects had a lot to do with Samara being so scary, but when you see a gaunt child standing there in a night gown with hair all over her face, it freaks you out.  The element of surprise is that you don’t know what’s under all the hair, and it gets even scarier once you find out.  The way she walks, crawls, and just stands there scared the shit out of me.  I was even unable to be in a room with a tv after seeing this flick.

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Michael Myers from ‘Halloween’

This was the first cult slasher film I had ever seen in my life, and ever since then I will always remember how truly horrified I was for years after watching this.  I was young the first time I saw this movie, around Michael’s age I suppose, and was really uncomfortable with nudity and anything sexual.  What made me even more uncomfortable Michael watching his own naked sister, walking in on her, and then BAM stabbing her right in the tit.  I wasn’t used to seeing nudity or death on camera, so when these 2 elements were combined on screen with a 10 year old, I was seriously scarred and forever freaked out by small children in horror movies.

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Rhoda from ‘Bad Seed’

‘Bad Seed’ is the first ‘horror’ movie I was ever allowed to watch.  I remember I was probably around 7 and my mom had told me that this movie freaked her out as a child.  For a first introduction into horror, this movie definitely did the job.  I was really freaked out by the concept of a little girl being able to fool and overpower all these adults.  I wasn’t desensitized by the concept of killing at this point in my life, so I couldn’t believe that Rhoda was capable of killing.  I think I remember her death scene being the scene that scared me the most because of the way she died.  I’m still creeped out by it.

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Martin from ‘Bereavement’

Even though the plot of this story isn’t necessarily the best one ever made, its pretty gory and messed up.  Martin is kidnapped by a serial killer at the age of 5 and then is taught to be a serial killer himself.  Its a lot of gore for a small child to handle, so you can only imagine how insane he must be after he has been living 5 years with this serial killer.  He turns into a full on heartless killer by the age of 10 and I was definitely disturbed by this kid.

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Emily from ‘Hide and Seek’

This was the first movie that I ever saw Dakota Fanning in and she really scared me.  The whole entire time in the movie you are wondering if she is the killer or not.  She seems so innocent, yet her attitude suggests that there is a demon hiding inside her.  She gives a really creepy and amazing performance.

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All the children in ‘Children of the Corn’

All the kids in this movie FREAKED me out as a child. It was scary for me to think about what if there were no adults and this world was ruled by evil children.  The thought that these children can penetrate your mind with their special powers and control adults really frightened me.  Nothing worse than a world full of evil children………

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Damien from ‘The Omen’

Even though the original film is what actually scared me, I thought the remake was beautiful and this Damien was a lot scarier than the original one.  He displays absolutely no emotion or affection towards anyone and is a little troublemaker that you can never predict.  He is sneaky and winds up taking out his whole family.  I loved that he was possessed by the devil at an age so young, nobody would ever suspect him for anything.  His adorable smile hides how evil he really is.

5 Most Disturbing Movies

Posted: January 10, 2013 in Top 5 Lists

5.) “Seed” was bloody FUCKING disgusting.  Before I go on about this movie, I am giving you a legitimate warning on it that is not to be taken as a joke or part of my sarcasm. The first 15 minutes of the movie features footage from PETA showing severe animal cruelty that is unfathomable. Personally I didn’t know that I was watching and didn’t know if it was real.  After researching this film and finding out the animal violence was very very real, I was sick to my stomach.  Please fast forward the first 15 minutes because it is beyond sick and is not worth the watch.  Luckily for me, I tuned into only about 5 minutes of it before I skipped it because it was too unbearable to watch.  Apart from this, the film is still fucked up as hell.  Although the plot and acting is mostly shit, the gore, violence, and blood is beyond fucked and will probably make you vomit (tip: do not eat before this film). I’ve seen it a couple times and it grosses me out and scares the shit out of me each time. I’m sure after watching the trailer you will be able to decide if this film is right for you.

4.) “Singapore Sling” is definitely the weirdest WTF movie I have ever seen, and chances are you will be unable to watch it because it is nearly impossible to find on the internet.  The most disturbing scenes are the incestuous relationship between mother and daughter as well as their bulimic dinner parties.  What makes the movie so disturbing is the sexual desires of the characters and how utterly insane they are. This is a Greek film from 1990 and is just an absolute clusterfuck of perversion.

3.) “Enter the Void” is both a piece of art as well as a very, very sad and fucked up story.  Gaspar Noe has to be one of my favorite directors of all time and he really just knocks the wind out of you with this piece.  All the characters live extremely messed up lives and it felt like a knife stabbing into my heart with each plot twist.  It touches on the viewer emotionally because of how horrific the story line is and it really is not about the special effects which is great in my opinion.  There’s not much else to say other than you will probably have a pit in your stomach for at least a week after viewing this film because it is just such a mindfuck. From the actions of the characters to the relationship between the characters, it is all unfathomably horrific.

2.) “Martyrs” was just such a great little fucked up package, both mentally and visually.  The amount of blood and violence in this film is just jaw-dropping, those French really have it going on.  Any movie with torture is hard to watch, and “Martyrs” hits a nerve with the audience by displaying unthinkable violence and torture against a defenseless child.  Fast forward 15 years and it turns into a revenge film. The whole thing is baffling, disgusting, disturbing, and scary at the same time.  Definitely fresh and innovative and puts a new twist on  the whole “kidnap and torture” genre.

1.) What “fucked up movie list” wouldn’t be complete without mentioning “A Serbian Film”. This movie is actually what turned me on to extremely disturbing film and was definitely a turning point for me and my movie watching “career”.  Every type of brutal rape and torture scene is present in this film about necrophilia, pedophilia, and porn.  If you haven’t heard of this film before, I wouldn’t suggest watching it because you probably can’t handle it.  For the first year after I saw this film I kept it a secret because I was a bit embarrassed to admit that a movie beyond any type of perversion was enjoyable for me. YES I LOVE THIS FILM. Get over it. Hands down, most messed up movie created