Posts Tagged ‘Kim Henkel’

Texas-Chainsaw-Massacre-3D-2013-Movie-Poster

The newest release in the TCM series seemed like the perfect occasion for me to drink my ass off with my friends while sporting some 3D glasses.  With that being said, that was exactly what I did.  Being the classy bitch I am, I nursed my paperbag-clad bottle of wine for the duration of the movie to ensure the absolute best movie-going experience, and here’s how it went down:

Overall, I would give the movie 2.5 out of 5 stars.  Seriously, not really that great of a plot, not many twists and turns, and too little screen time for all the characters except for the main character.  If you like seeing horror movies on the big screen, then yes I would recommend this.  If you are a huge TCM fan just like me, I would also recommend this.  If you are legitimately looking for a scary movie with a good plot, I would probably tell you to go look somewhere else because this is NOT your film.  The movie starts out with clips from the original TCM, which I found unnecessary.  Personally, I don’t like when remakes bring clips from the original films because I feel like it tarnishes and often contradicts the original storyline.  Anyways, that happened and the story ceased to make any sense from the get-go.  As usual with remakes containing footage from the originals, the plot changed and somehow Leatherface started the film with a huge family that was gunned down, with only him and his baby cousin surviving.  Fast forward 18 years, or however many years the main character, Heather, is supposed to be and her biological grandmother dies, leaving her an astonishingly beautiful estate.  Yes, there were a few differences between this and the original, but when 5 young adults take a van out to the middle of nowhere for a “vacation”, you know they’re all going to be hacked up into little pieces except for the main character.  So, with that being said, there’s really not much more to say about this film.  Its not like this is a new concept or anything, everything that was done on screen has been done a million times before and definitely done better.  I love myself a good 3d film, but unfortunately this one was lacking in effects and didn’t make the extra money spent on 3d vision worth it.  The gore was mildly cool, but nothing that you haven’t seen before.  The main character, Heather, was so typical, it killed me.  For once could they please make a character of substance? I guess not…. As for the other characters, the killings were way too simple and there was no game of cat and mouse between Leatherface and his victims, which I found made the movie pretty boring.  All the characters died pretty early on with little to no struggle, which is what made me rate the movie so low.  Heather was the only character constantly on screen, and even she wasn’t that interesting.

The story did take an interesting twist though and showed Leatherface as a different character than he was portrayed originally, but this didn’t really make the plot that much more “amazing”.  Thinking back on it, it was kind of dumb but it did have some good scares in there that got me going.  In my drunken stupor, yes I was that asshole in the theater jumping out of my seat screaming.  I’m not sure if the circumstances would have changed if I wasn’t under the influence of alcohol, but it sure did make my movie-viewing experience more enjoyable.  Overall, I would say you can definitely skip this movie and just never look back.  But if you are like me and you just have to see every scary movie that comes out on the big screen, then go ahead and bite the bullet, however, you have been warned about the content of this movie.

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