Posts Tagged ‘supernatural horror’

Do you ever feel like you just can’t seem to have enough blood and gore in your films?  Do you often find that you are NOT spending the majority of your horror movie watching time cringing and looking away? Fear no more horror fiends and friends alike.  I have compiled a list of absolute NASTIES.  I myself, found I had to look away more times then I would like to admit with these movies.

Seed

220px-Seedposter
Where to begin with this movie? Just overall FUCKED. Such a disturbing, psychotic, extreme movie. Lots of blood and merciless brutality on the end of the serial killer.  This one definitely hits you from all angles; messes with your mind, pulls at your heartstrings, puts a pit in your stomach, is disgusting to watch, and even grosser to think about.  Lots of scenes really made my heart beat fast with just how shockingly gross they were.  I would recommend skipping the first 5-7 minutes of the film.  Its seriously just unpleasant nastiness and seems to take away from the film rather than add to it. Please be warned though, this movie does contain some (fake) animal gore.

Cannibal Holocaust

cannibal holocaust

You’ve got to give this film credit, it was WAY ahead of its time in the horror movie world.  The idea of your plane crashing into the remote part of a jungle with only a cannibalistic tribe as “companions” is terrifying. Fast forward, and there you are deep in the jungles of South America being hunted and captured in order to be fed to this savage tribe.  The movie looks so real, which is what is the most disturbing. The acting is good and the effects are extremely practical, making it pretty believable.   Again, this film also contains animal gore (apparently real), you’ve been warned!

Dead Alive (AKA Braindead)

dead alive

This film is a great laugh and not to be taken seriously.  However, that doesn’t take away from just how bloody disgusting it is! This film is as funny as it is gross.  The story line is great and the creative ways in which the characters are murdered and dismembered are just hilarious.  Great mix of humor, guts, and horror.

Human Centipede 2

human centipede

Just thinking about this film gives me a bad taste in my mouth.  What a pile of garbage.  At the same time though, if you want to challenge yourself and push your limits of what you think is grotesque, give this one a try.  Such a gross out film, that seemed to be its main purpose.  If you can watch this entire movie without looking away once, congratulations, you have officially “out-gored” me.

Headless

headless

Rather than go into detail with what this film is about, I figure I’d just have you do the research yourself.  It saves me from one AWKWARD movie review. I will say this though, this has to be one of the most extreme horrors I have ever seen, not for the weak of heart or stomach. Cannibalism is present, which is actually the least offensive thing I found about this movie. Once the pornographic scenes started, things got weird. To say the least. I found myself closing my eyes, plugging my ears, and wishing I was in a different place for about 70% of that film.  That’s a new record, folks. Lots of blood, among other things to see here.

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Wake Wood poster

Gorror fans, if it wasn’t for you I would have taken the first available fork I could find and stabbed my eyeballs out so I could have prevented myself from watching this absolutely horrible movie.  Complete spin-off of Stephen King’s “Pet Semetary” but nowhere near as great.  This movie is an abomination to horror, so please whatever you do, don’t see it!  The movie starts out, literally within the first minute and a half, with 9-year old Alice being eaten alive by some savage dog.  Although it may sound borderline cool and gory, it was actually the most confusing thing I’ve ever seen and it seriously just looked like blood was being splattered on her in different camera angles.  At this moment, I knew I would be in for a hellish ride and I immediately began searching for a sharp object with which I could use to gouge my eyes out.  If only I would have found that sharp object……..

Anyways Patrick and Louise, both with the personalities and emotions of a cardboard box, “grieve” the death of their only child.  And by grieve I mean show as little emotion as possible while going around and doing nothing.  In fact, none of the characters really “do” anything, they are merely just there to add to the scenery.  The dialogue didn’t do anything for me, the acting didn’t do anything for me, hell, the blood didn’t even do anything for me.  Unacceptable!  By some random turn of events Patrick and Louise stumble upon some type of cult/ gathering in their small town that specializes in resurrecting the dead.  The only catch is, they are only allowed 3 days with their loved one until they must be put back into the ground.  At this point in the movie, the genre shifted from quasi-horror to full-on comedy.  Get this: in order to bring back Alice, her parents must use a freshly dead body, coat it in a layer of manure/ shit, set it on fire, and then do some other chanting bullshit.  At this moment I was practically in tears, and then it got even better.  The feces-covered corpse then gives birth to a very bloody and also very naked Alice. Awkward.  I wasn’t sure what the fuck I just watched, but I figured if I was half way there and hadn’t resorted to stabbing my eyes out yet, I could sit through the last half of the movie.

I think the point of the story was for Alice to come back to life as some possessed little kid.  But because the acting and the dialogue were so horrific, she was the same bland little girl she was before Fido decided she looked like a good meal.  Despite her being devoid of any emotion or personality, 70 pound Alice manages to kill 3 adults who cannot fend against someone 30+ years younger than them. That came off to me as a bit strange.  The characters in the movie literally sat there as she did whatever she had to do to kill them.  No screaming, no opposition, not enough blood, stupid camera angle, I can go on and on.  This is where I began getting confused, and for the life of me I’m not sure what explanation I can give for what I witnessed on film.  Basically, Alice’s 3 days are up, they re-kill her, re-bury her, and for some reason she drags Louise down with her.  I’m not sure why this happened or what meaning it had, but Patrick decides he needs to go through the same “Pet Semetary” bullshit he just went through with Alice so he could get his wife back for 3 days. I’m not sure why this movie was even classified as horror, seeing as it doesn’t even have the potential to scare a 5 year-old.  I easily gave this movie 0 out of 5 stars, there were literally no redeeming qualities to even make this movie semi-enjoyable.  You can all thank me later for the fact that I just spared you from watching one of the most horrible movies of your life.  I took one for the team, cuz thats just who I am.  Now please, spread the word to stay as far away from this film as possible.

the hole

Considering I was only able to get through about 30 minutes of this movie, I guess that qualifies it for 0 stars out of 5.  Seriously, this movie sucked, bottom line.  Dumb plot, bad acting, bad film quality.

WARNING: The plot I am about to describe to you has not been altered to seem funnier/cheesier/ dumber than humanly possible.  All events described are 100% accurate of how they are depicted in the film. Here it goes: So, to start out on the right foot, I definitely didn’t catch any of the characters names in the film because it was of little to no importance to me.  The synopsis of the film is that the main character lived in an orphanage with 7 or so other children.  The woman that ran the orphanage went berzerk and decided to murder all the children except for her for no apparent reason, other than a devil or demonic force that told her to do so.  The main character is stuck being haunted by the memories of the mass murder and supposedly has some type of trauma that makes her act weird.  By some force of nature, the orphanage is reopened and revamped by the installation of thousands of laser and effects.  I’m not sure how this plot could have gotten any dumber, but it did.  The orphanage acts as a haunted house where a group of randoms are selected to go check it out (from my understanding).  If you are about to ask if the plot gets any worse, the answer is yes. The plot gets sooo much worse.  The characters are then attacked by what looks like “monsters” or whatever the fuck you want to call them, but it turns out they are merely holographic images complete with holographic blood.  This puts the group of morons (sorry, I mean complex and sophisticated characters) under the impression that everything that pops out at them and attacks them is merely just an illusion.

Here comes the part where you just didn’t think it could get any dumber: As the group goes through the “haunted house”, the illusions are taken over by ghosts and start turning out to be extremely real.  So as the ghosts and spirits attack random unsuspecting viewers, the rest of the group naturally assumes its more illusions and special effects that have been installed in the house.  As the plot unfolds the characters discover that they have indeed been watching their friends die and it was a little bit more than just some fake blood.  Obviously this movie was pretty shitty, solid 2 out of 5 stars, but the cheesiness factor was over the top.  It was funny, gory, and overall IQ-dropping.  It had to have been one of the dumbest movies I have ever seen, but I am recommending it because it was just so retarded; a solid B-Horror film that I was actually able to sit through.  The quality of the film wasn’t great, some of the acting was just abominable, the storyline was almost too dumb for me to admit to watching, but hey, if you’re into cheesy horror this could be your film.